Batter & Squeeze

What in hell do you suppose happened to these quarters? Vending machine pummeling? Abandoned art project? Temper fit? Maybe, they were supposed to be taken out of circulation, and someone handed me the wrong roll-? Or is this just Life, as a Quarter?

The quarters were in an immaculately-wrapped roll I purchased from my bank. I didn’t see the damage until I got them home and unwrapped them. Laundry quarters, they ain’t.

My bank spent Covid saying No to us. No, you can’t come inside. No, you can’t use the Deposits drop. Later on it was No, you can’t have more than two rolls of quarters. Hunh.

Before Covid, the bank had been pretty much the one task I successfully ran a scheduled routine with. Now this was all in the crapper.

I had a strong suspicion that their “We can’t get money from the Treasuwee” was a very convenient feint to cover not purchasing an inventory of money – and what they wanted was for all of us to switch to app banking. They’d close all the branches but one and fire everyone and give the Executives rai$es and keep money money money!!1!1!! No proof, though. Maybe that was only Lockdown talking.

Captured Reddit post. – Three years, start to finish; nearly exactly

No doubt about it – this roll of quarters took a beating, and so did we. What my bank doesn’t know is these dented Georges are coming back to them to exchange for real money that fits in the laundry room’s coin slots without jamming. And I will keep on asking for money until the last of it is gone. Because money = privacy and I do not wish to exchange my Contacts for the privilege of washing that week’s laundry with an app.





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